Post by Chet Dakota on Oct 9, 2020 0:32:46 GMT
The Battle of Albuquerque
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico, America
Date: The 13th of October in the Year 2020 of our Lord. 1900 Hours.
Crowd: Arena full of screaming patriots
Chet Dakota’s heart swells with pride upon witnessing American history being made. He fought and saved lives so this country could remain free. And while he’d prefer to see an all male SCOTUS, he’s moderately impressed with Amy Coney Barrett’s lucidity during the senate hearings.
“The Air Force One Theme” plays. CDW Owner Chet Dakota steps out onto stage.
Chet Dakota “Hello patriots of Albuquerque.”
The entire state of New Mexico cheers.
Chet Dakota “As the most decorated soldier in American history, I’ve experienced all types of battles. One thing you must expect as a soldier is the unexpected. Missions canceled. Tours eliminated. Such is the case tonight as two of our advertised matches will not go on as planned due to an extreme lack of patriotism exhibited between the four contestants.
The fans are disappointed.
Chet Dakota “Have no fear, patriots. You will still be witnessing two American sized matches, one of which will feature the CDW Champion, Pro Wrestling Legend, Chet Dakota defending the most coveted title in all of wrestling against the Socialist, Mike Best.
The fans boo Mike Best.
Chet Dakota “Let the show begin.”
Announcer “And now it is time for our first match this evening.”
Johnny Cash: And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts. And I looked, and behold: a pale horse. And his name, that sat on him, was Death. And Hell followed with him.
Cash's voice echoes through the arena before the arena lights cut out. The world slows until the rhythmic thud of "Grease Paint And Monkey Brains" by White Zombie blares from the P.A. system. Strobe lights dance around the intimidating stature of Krow, as he steps out before the crowd. He holds his arms outward in a cross position before embarking on the slow swagger down to the ring. The spotlight follows a methodical Krow, his tall, muscular frame navigating around the squared circle as it billows more dry ice from beneath the ring.
Krow leaps over the top rope and enters the ring, removing his leather vest and throwing it at the ring announcer. Krow climbs a ring post and hits a sinister crucifix pose to a crowd reaction.
Announcer “Krow McMannis!”
Livin in America makes the people happy. Happy and proud to be Americans. Modern Americana appears with a smile on his face. His teeth are as white as the purity that resides within modern America. He high fives fans on the way to the ring. Slides into the ring and jumps up, performing a back flip to the delight of the audience.
Announcer “Modern Americana!”
The bell rings. Both wrestlers give it their best. Modern Americana runs the risk of flaunting his sexuality a little too much, which results in a fine administered post match, along with a thorough lecture. Inside the ring, however, Krow McMannis rebounds from last week’s disappointing performance by ending Modern Americana’s evening with Death Sentence.
Announcer “The winner of this match is Krow McMannis!!!”
What a win for Krow McMannis. This man may have what it takes to elevate within the most competitive promotion the wrestling world has ever seen. He will surely face an elevated challenge next week. Now, we move on to the main event.
Announcer “It is time for our main event!”
The NBA theme plays, and the crowd boos. Mike Best walks out, looking arrogant as always. The boos get louder, and his arrogance fades away to fear as he enters the ring.
Announcer “From his father’s federation, Mike Best!”
“The Air Force One Theme” plays. America unites, putting all politics and religious issues aside. They hold hands and pledge their allegiance to this great country upon witnessing Chet Dakota, pro wrestling legend, in all his patriotic majesty walk to the ring. Chet Dakota marches up the steps and enters the ring with enough presence to awaken the souls of our founding fathers.
Announcer “He is the CDW Champion, Chet Dakota!”
Chet Dakota stands at attention. Mike Best tries to thrust his hips forward, hoping to show a bulge, but there is none. He’s experiencing shrinkage due to the emasculation of standing in the presence of pro wrestling legend, Chet Dakota.
Announcer “And now, please rise and place your hands over your hearts for the Pledge of Allegiance.”
The Pledge is recited by Morgan Freeman.
Announcer “And now, remain standing for a stirring rendition of the National Anthem.”
The National Anthem begins. Mike Best takes a knee. Chet Dakota calmly spins around and delivers a knee into Mike Best’s face, knocking him out. He places a foot upon Best’s chest and orders the ref to make the pin. 1! 2! 3!!! Chet Dakota is the winner. He celebrates by demanding the National Anthem be replayed, at twice the volume. The fans are going wild chanting Chet Dakota and USA.
Announcer “Chet Dakota is the winner!”
The show ends with American Hero and Pro Wrestling Legend, Chet Dakota standing tall in the center of the ring.